Amo, Amas, Amat
by Verecunda
Summary: Jed just doesn't get this whole Latin thing. Jed/Octavius.


Title: Amo, Amas, Amat

Rating: PG, for Jed damning and blasting all over the place.

Word count: 1513

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything related to the _Night at the Museum_ movies.

Summary: Octavius attempts to give Jedediah a Latin lesson. Jed just doesn't get it.

A/N: The idea just came to me when I was sorting through my Latin stuff one day, and it refused to go away after that. Originally posted on LiveJournal, and I've made some very tiny changes to it since then.

-

It was just after midnight, when Octavius and Jedediah had finished playing fetch with Rexy and were taking a well-earned rest under the trees in the corner of the Rome diorama, that Jed sprang a rather unexpected question.

"Hey, Octavius, y'know this whole Latin business you Romans have..."

Octavius raised an eyebrow and, in one of his rare displays of sarcasm, replied, "I have heard of it occasionally."

"Shaddap. Anyway, well, I was wonderin' if... well, if'n I might be able to speak a bit of it?"

"You wish to learn Latin?" To say that Octavius was surprised would be a bit of an understatement. After all, Jedediah had never shown much interest in foreign languages before, and besides, the magic of Ahkmenrah's tablet allowed them to communicate perfectly well in English.

"May I ask what prompted this?"

Jed shrugged. Truth was, he didn't really want to admit his reasons out loud. Hell, he didn't even really understand them. After he and the Roman general had finally put aside their differences and become friends, they'd got to spending much more time in each other's dioramas, learning more about each other's cultures, something they'd never done properly when they were fighting every night. And while Jedediah looked forward to his trips to Rome, there were some things that just bugged him. Like when he heard Octavius yapping away to the other Romans in their own language. He didn't like not knowing what Octavius was saying, and he didn't like having to share the general with anyone else who did. He'd be damned if he said that out loud, though. He didn't reckon Octavius wanted a friend who was clingier than a coyote with its jaws round his leg, and dammit, he had a reputation to keep up.

"Aw, y'know me, partner," he said cheerfully. "Ol' Jedediah just can't resist a new adventure!"

"I am aware of that," said Octavius, "but for you, my friend, new adventures usually involve some speeding vehicle or other, not linguistics."

Jed made a pouting face. "Y'mean you don't wanna teach me?"

"Of course not!" said Octavius, looking shocked that he'd even thought such a thing. Regaining his composure, he pressed his fist over his heart. "On the contrary, it would be my honour, Jedediah. _Carpe diem_, as the saying goes. Or in our circumstances, I suppose it should be _Carpe noctem_."

"Whoa, whoa, hold yer horses there, partner! You're gonna have to hook me up with a beginner's course before I can understand any of that there yammerin'."

"As you wish." Octavius considered for a moment. "We should begin with something simple, such as how to conjugate verbs."

Jed blinked. "How to what whats now?"

Octavius sighed. This was going to be a long night.

-

"Let us try this again. Repeat after me: _amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant_. _Amo_ - I love. _Amas_ - you love. _Amat_ - he or she loves. _Amamus_ - we love. _Amatis_ - you love, and _amant_ - they love."

"Hey, whoa!" cried Jed. "Back up there a minute. You said 'you love' twice."

"The first was singular. _Amatis_ is 'you' in the plural."

Jed sat back, scratching the back of his head. "Boy, I'm about as confused as a water-snake in a sudden drought. Dunno how you do it, Octavius."

"Well, it does not seem so difficult since it is my mother-tongue," said Octavius. Leaning back against the tree, he removed his helmet with a sigh. "Clearly I am not a very able tutor."

Jedediah sent a surreptitious glance over at Octavius from under the brim of his hat. The Roman looked so disappointed, all pouty face and big sad puppy-dog eyes, it made him feel bad, too. On the other hand... it wasn't often he got to see Octavius without his helmet. He'd never noticed before, but the general's dark hair curled a little, especially just across his forehead. He suddenly had a very vivid image of his fingers running through it...

"Jedediah?" Octavius' voice brought him back down to earth with a thud. "What in Jupiter's name are you doing?"

It took a moment before he realised that his hand was hovering outstretched between them. Heat flooded his face and he abruptly dropped the offending limb, glaring down at it. _Traitor._

"Now let us try this once more." Octavius' patience was wearing thin. Jedediah was acting most strangely, his mind clearly only half on the lesson. And it was a lesson he had requested! But despite his own irritation, he was determined not to fail the cowboy. Secretly, he was rather thrilled that his friend should seek to know more about his way of life. He welcomed any opportunity to bring Jedediah and himself closer, but from what he had learned of the social mores of the Wild West, he realised it was prudent to keep such thoughts to himself.

So, returning to the lesson, he pointed to himself and said slowly, "_Amo._ I love."

"Huh?" Jedediah had got so caught up in his own head that he'd almost forgotten all about Latin. "Sorry, I missed that. Who do you love, Octavius?"

To his surprise, Octavius' face turned the same colour as his cloak. "No one! I was just conjugating the verb."

"Sure. Sorry." Now Jed felt like an idiot. Dammit, with all these weird thoughts whirlin' through his mind like so much tumbleweed, he was beginning to get all in a stew. "So, uh..." He pointed at Octavius. "_Amo?_"

Octavius exhaled heavily. "No. _Amo_ is the first-person singular."

"Dammit, partner, don't you make me more balled up than I already am! Now lemme see if'n I've got this right now... _amo_ means 'I love you'?"

"Just 'I love'." Octavius was very red in the face now, and not all from frustration. "If you wished to say 'I love you' it would be '_T__e amo_', but that is not the focus of this lesson."

_Te amo._ Jedediah mouthed the words to himself. He liked the sound of them, especially when it was Octavius saying them. Not that Octavius would ever say them to him, of course... right?

Godammit! What had got him thinking like this all of a sudden? In an attempt to distract himself, he tried to slump his way through the Latin words. "_Amo, amas, am_-what's-it-again... nope, sorry, partner, I just ain't gettin' it..."

Octavius looked over at Jedediah, watching him grumble to himself. He hated the downcast look in his friend's blue eyes. If only there were some way to help him fix it in his mind...

"Aw, dang it, Octavius, why do I gotta learn this word, anyhow? It's not like anyone is gonna be tellin' me _te amo_, or whatever the Sam Hill it was, any time soon."

Octavius' eyebrows shot up at that, and as he listened to the cowboy wallowing in self-pity, a slow smile formed on his lips. He shuffled closer.

"Jedediah."

Jed cut his grumbling short at the sound of the Roman's voice, all soft and silky-like. "Huh?" He turned his head, but before he could do anything else, Octavius' hand was against his cheek, fingertips trailing lightly across his skin. The sensation sent a shiver through his body, and sent his heart charging like a runaway horse. Next thing he knew, Octavius' face was a blur and the Roman's breath was whispering warmly against his lips. Instinctively, they parted, and before Jed's mind could grasp what was happening, Octavius' mouth brushed over his.

It only lasted a moment, over as soon as it began, but even when Octavius pulled away, he was still close enough to let their lips graze together as he breathed, "_Amo._"

Still reeling from what had just happened, Jed struggled to think of the right word. "_A-amas?_"

Octavius nodded, eyes shining. "_Te amo_, Jedediah."

It was like a light being turned on in his brain, doing away with whatever confusion might have been left. Jed's mind hadn't even started to catch up with the rest of him as he lunged across and seized Octavius by the arms, pulling him back in. The Roman's mouth was hot and wet, pressing eagerly against his, inviting him to deepen the kiss. Which he did, wholeheartedly. Damn, but he'd never enjoyed a kiss as much as this one. He groaned into Octavius' mouth, tangling his fingers in his hair, just as he'd imagined, and was beyond elated when Octavius moaned and grasped his shoulders.

"Hey, Octavius," he murmured breathlessly, showering kisses on the Roman's lips, "what's Latin for 'too'? Y'know, like, 'as well'."

Octavius smiled, a little dazedly. "_Etiam._ Now get back here at once."

"_Etiam_..." Jed smiled widely, and pressed his lips against Octavius' again. "All right... _te amo etiam_..."

Hearing those words almost made Octavius melt right there and then, but somehow he forced himself to break away from Jedediah's insistent kisses. "Wait, my friend. Do you not wish to continue with the lesson?"

Jedediah shook his head, grinning. "No need, partner. I got all the Latin I need to know now."


End file.
